Underwater Elsie

A rarely seen translucent cow fish.

Dreams of Colbert Nation

Had the weirdest dreams last night. Dreams within dreams. Waking and waking again, but still in dreamland, like those nested Russian dolls. The longest running series was of me grieving over the unexpected death of Stephen Colbert. In the first of the series, I remember thinking about him dying just as I was dropping off to sleep. Even as I had the thought, I wondered what would make me think that. Upon waking from that night of dream-sleeping, I had the strong intuition that he had in fact died and that I had felt it psychically the night before. I started bawling uncontrollably. I couldn't bear the thought of this huge comedic voice-of-a-generation-type dying so young. It just seemed so unfair and unacceptable, that I convulsed in sobs.

Worse, I couldn't confirm whether my intuitive hit was correct. Finally, when I ran into friends and family they confirmed his death, but none of them—nobody—seemed to care much. I tried to find some news online or on cable to really confirm, but couldn't. I was damn near incapacitated with grief over this man I've never met and am not that big a fan of. (I mean I like him a lot, but this was over the top.) Still, I couldn't understand why no one else cared, or at least cared enough about me to say some sympathetic words.

Anyway, this kept up from one dream or dream segment to another. The combination of lack of reliable information, a deep unbearable grief over a public figure, and the apathy of my friends when what I needed was sympathy or empathy was truly bizarre and left a really nasty taste in my mouth.

Western Spaghetti

A truly incredible stop-motion short from The Twisted Films of PES.



Many more here. My favorite is Pee-Nut.

One Badass Bunny

An American Tradition

232 years of mudslinging.

With the presidential nominees all but official, partisans on both sides are targeting their campaigns -- and that inevitably means negative ads. Lately they have come in the form of unsolicited e-mails portraying Barack Obama as a Muslim or charging John McCain with abandoning his disabled first wife. Yet, though we decry it, negative campaigning is as much a part of our political tradition as fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Since the time of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, successful politicians have sought to sanctify their candidate and demonize their opponent. After three largely nonpartisan elections, the first campaign for president, in 1800, pitted Adams against Jefferson. Patriots in the best sense of the word, both men were brilliant, successful lawyers who stood out among the surviving heroes of the American Revolution. Devoted family men, they had served their states and country during the war and held high positions in George Washington's administration.

Well, I Declare, II

More on the Declaration. 

Choice cut:

On this Independence Day, as we pay annual homage to the Declaration of Independence for which Thomas Jefferson gets most of the credit for authoring, let's not forget the signal contribution made by Benjamin Franklin -- entrepreneur, scientist, diplomat, statesman and, apparently, wordsmith.

If not for Franklin, one of the most famous parts of the Declaration would likely read, "We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable."

Franklin, a member of the Continental Congress committee charged with creating the document, had a better idea. He crossed out the words "sacred and undeniable" and substituted "self-evident."

Well, I Declare

Who'd a thunk? The Declaration of Independence didn't just come pouring forth whole and complete from Jefferson's genius mind. Here are pics of earlier revisions: 

And a link or two for more info. 

Happy I-Day!

Maybe someone can forward this to the members of the Bush Administration.

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Poem Of The Day

From Michael Kerr over at Melancholy Sideshow:

Wealth

Thank you for

the box

of diamonds

I can tell you worked

hard

on the label

God In A Cup

Michaele Weissman searches for the perfect cuppa.

Sample shot:

Journalist Michaele Weissman says she had her first real cup of coffee in 2005; everything before that was "hot water and Ritalin." The revelation came in the form of a double-shot 12-ounce cappuccino with whole milk made with specialty coffee purveyor Counter Culture's Toscano espresso blend. It was a concoction she remembers as tasting "as luxurious as cashmere, bringing mouth memories of caramel, chocolate and hazelnut." Baristas call this epiphany a "Godshot moment."

Your Guide To Not Voting

From Today Now!

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Watching War Criminals Squirm

With former U.S. Justice Dept. Office of Legal Counsel John Yoo in the role of simpering idiot:

(In case you don't know who Yoo is, here's a brief refresher.):

And David Addington in the role of unbelievably arrogant asshole:

God, these people are just disgusting. Fucking cowards. 

Don't Tick Me Off

Slate.com has just started a cool new article series which delves into the lives of revolting creatures. Installment one is A Tick's Life: The Life Story of a Tick. I look forward to more.

Choice cut:  

I repeated the question of why God made ticks for Dr. Fish. He responded with a growl to what he took to be my facetious tone: "Nobody makes them. They're just there. Their object, like ours, is to make a living any way they can."

And the tick's place in the great web of life? "They transmit disease. They control population."

"Including us?" I asked.

"Whatever is susceptible to the disease."

Snow Jobs

Check out these beautifully creepy snow globes. Absolutely gorgeous.

Float On

Warming schmarming. If coastal cities get taken out by elevated ocean levels just move to a lilypad. Sign me up.

More here.

The Ghostly Gaze

A creepy optical illusion. The explanation of what's happening is fascinating.

A Different Spin

I can't wait to try this.

Go Away! We're Having Dinner!

Fucking bizarre.



h/t: Jeremy Holmes

Step Through The Looking Glass…

And into the realm of the Clinton dead-enders. Even though the lion's share of Clinton supporters have come around and most of the rest in all likelihood will, there are still those who just can't get over her loss. They insist on voting for McCain or sitting out. 

If you scratch the veneer of their complaints about process, however, you start to get the sense that they a) just don't like the guy and are emotionally invested in their stance, b) are racist despite protestations to the contrary, c) they're filled with anger and spite, or d) are at least separated, if not divorced from reality (they're certain the DNC has disenfranchised them and Hillary).

Most of these people have formed groups and have websites. One of the noisiest is PUMA (party unity my ass), but I just discovered there are scores of them. I thought I'd link to a site that has a good round up of them, but don't want to give them the boost. If you're curious and want to get a flavor, go to justsaynodeal.com. (The cream of the crop, if you can call it that, are blogs called NoQuarter and Hillary is 44. These people have truly gone off the deep end. They're little but smear sites.) 

Mostly, I ignore them and recommend you do the same, but I figured I'd bring them to your attention because they can be an interesting vacation from sanity if you need a break.

Oh, I found this in one of them. It's an interview with the crazy lady from the May 31 Rules and Bylaws Committee fracas. She really is a piece of work.

Damn, These Guys Are Good

Rachmaninov Had Big Hands


Mozart Bond


Check them out here.