Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lions And Tigers And Obamas, Oh My!

Man, I would not want to get on James Wolcott's bad side.
Presidential Monster Chiller Horror Theater!
This Halloween be on the lookout for all the righty bloggers dressed as drama queens. They'll be the ones looking as if they just escaped from Sam Fuller's Shock Corridor, swatting away invisible mites as they battle a bad case of Obama on the brain pan. It's been quite an inglorious spectacle, watching these wracked souls lose their shit as they swing from the belfry.
Take that double-decker sandwich of snap judgments that goes by the name of Phyllis Chesler, one of Pajamas Media's many reclamation projects gone awry. In the first giddy rush of excitement over the Pittsburgh "B"-cheek attack (quickly unrobed as a hoax), Chesler discerned a pattern of violence unfolding across the sidewalks and lawns of America; gripped the railing; and girded for anarchy:
Folks: This is not good. American v American in a race war, a class war, a gender war [a threefer!] even while jihad has been declared against America?
Forget about all the voting fraud allegations and the chaos at the polls: Do we all have to get guns? Will we need the National Guard to protect us when we vote? Or to walk voters home?
It's an infallible sign of how porously susceptible Chesler is to bogus hysteria that in the same post she snappily salutes the cut-and-paste heroism of "Pamela the Magnificent of Atlas Shrugs," yes, the same Pamela Geller who fell with a thud for two debunked stories last week, the "B"-cheek hoax and the Michelle Obama room-service-at-the-Waldorf fraud. Put their two heads together and you've got yourself a set of maracas.
But then, these asshats deserve his blistering scorn. Read on:
Over at Protein Wisdom, Jeff Goldstein, who always seems to have a lot going on offstage, gives his runny seal of approval to the pessimist porn of a mysterious entity named Kim Edwards:
I am not a reactionary person by nature, but trust me when I say the first 100 days of a Barack Obama presidency will bring holy hell upon those who adhere to a classical liberal philosophy. This man is a radical of the first stripe, and he has left no stone unturned in his quest. [Some sentences follow detailing the mighty zombie army Obama has amassed to march under his command.]
Did I mention this man hates me? You and me? Yes he does. Why? Because he can. Yes He Can. Beneath that cool persona is a megalomaniac. Cool? Like Stalin after a purge, emotionally and sexually spent. Like Saddam after a torture session, dozing in his chair with someone's genitals curled in his fist. Like Pol Pot after a petit mal seizure, mumbling a litany of the dead. Cool that way.
Obama hasn't even been elected into office yet, and already he's kissing cousins with history's most sadistic mass murderers. Talk about a brother not being able to catch a break!
Even if Obama loses, he'll be blamed for unleashing the days of wrath:
But what if Obama loses? Wouldn't that win us a reprieve, at least? Not necessarily...
Several of Obama's higher-profile backers have openly said that for him to be defeated could only be the result of foul play...or "racism." In our time, "racism" is one of the foulest imprecations a man can suffer. It's a justification for doing anything and everything to him, regardless of the evidence for or against it. Never mind that the word has been emptied of all objective meaning. Remember Judge Charles Pickering, and see if you can disagree.
Regardless of who wins, the election on November 4 has a staggering potential for tearing the country violently asunder. The lines make it too probable to contemplate.
Your Curmudgeon has decided not to stint on preparations. He's filled his pantry, doubled his gold reserves, and replenished his ammo stocks.
And to think they called us "sore losers" in 2000! They haven't even lost yet and they're already blaming the victor, acting all butch and making with the big talk about stocking up on gold and ammo as they hole up in the shag-carpeted panic room and let their whiskers grow. They can't face the fact that conservatism has epically failed; this is their way of pouting and refusing to come out and play, leaving everybody else to deal with the ruin left behind.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No Blue States, America is Beige. Beige Revolution. Just like the pestel revolutions in Yougreen and Tealand. We must take to the streets to make sure all of these ballard security farces don't prevent an Obama Presidency.