Poetry At My Fingertips

More of this please!

Crazy 'Bout A Mercury

Bring on the retrograde:

Yes, Mercury Is in Retrograde. So What?
Perhaps you’ve noticed that things have gone a bit screwy the past couple of weeks.

Traffic jams materialize out of nowhere. Your luggage makes an unscheduled stop in Sumatra. The computer eats your dissertation. Your favorite political party loses control of both houses of Congress.

If you have friends who follow the stars, they may have had a ready explanation for you: the planet Mercury is in retrograde.

For That Porn Star Finish

Stumbled across this page from a men's health site:

Because, you know, we all need a bigger money shot.

Adventures In Baby Swinging

Getting off to a young start in alternative lifestyles? Nope. A weird new Internet phenom.

Vote For My Big Daddy

Ewwwwwwwwwww!



Dude, watch where you put that hand!

I Can Haz Blog Post?

Via Salon, an interesting take on the bizarre lolcat phenomenon.

Choice cut:

What makes lolcats different from the cat porn of the past -- the motivational posters of the '70s and '80s featuring furry kittens hanging from tree limbs, covered in toilet paper or in some other kind of adorable predicament -- is that lolcats aren't trying to be cute. In the cat-based imagery of ages past, cats retain their iconic traits: curiosity, skittishness, the tendency to curl up in a ball and just lie there. Even the YouTube cats of today perform characteristically catlike actions, repeatedly flushing toilets, dragging their paws along piano keys or getting flung off the ends of treadmills.

Lolcats are different in that the characters they portray -- and yes, they are portraying characters -- don't represent cats at all. They're a completely different kind of beast, mischievous (if incompetent) rascals, scheming for cheeseburgers and stopping at nothing to get them.

Take the lolcat that started it all, created by a Hawaiian blogger named Eric Nakagawa, who posted it in January 2007. The image features a cat with a crazed look of pure animal hunger, its eyes maniacal with desire, asking, "I can has cheezburger?" Underneath is the comment: "The Internet's piece de resistance, the website's raison d'etre."

This ur-lolcat created such a sensation that Nakagawa turned it into a blog, spawning not only the eponymous Web site but also a whole mythology. The cheezburger has become the Philosopher's Stone of the lolcats mythos -- the most prized, cherished and elusive object in their universe.

Happy Belated Halloween

A little late, perhaps, but how could I not share the creepiest. ad. ever.?

Surreal Life: The McCain Series

Yesterday:

Fox News VP: If McCain Worker 'Mutilation' Story Is a Hoax His Campaign Is 'Over'

Today:

Ashley Todd Fake "Mutilation" Exposed
Police say a campaign volunteer confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter B in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker.

At a news conference this afternoon, officials said they believe that Ashley Todd's injuries were self-inflicted.

Todd, 20, of Texas, is now facing charges for filing a false report to police.

Maybe, they figure if they're going to lose, they might as well lose big?

Dreams of Colbert Nation

Had the weirdest dreams last night. Dreams within dreams. Waking and waking again, but still in dreamland, like those nested Russian dolls. The longest running series was of me grieving over the unexpected death of Stephen Colbert. In the first of the series, I remember thinking about him dying just as I was dropping off to sleep. Even as I had the thought, I wondered what would make me think that. Upon waking from that night of dream-sleeping, I had the strong intuition that he had in fact died and that I had felt it psychically the night before. I started bawling uncontrollably. I couldn't bear the thought of this huge comedic voice-of-a-generation-type dying so young. It just seemed so unfair and unacceptable, that I convulsed in sobs.

Worse, I couldn't confirm whether my intuitive hit was correct. Finally, when I ran into friends and family they confirmed his death, but none of them—nobody—seemed to care much. I tried to find some news online or on cable to really confirm, but couldn't. I was damn near incapacitated with grief over this man I've never met and am not that big a fan of. (I mean I like him a lot, but this was over the top.) Still, I couldn't understand why no one else cared, or at least cared enough about me to say some sympathetic words.

Anyway, this kept up from one dream or dream segment to another. The combination of lack of reliable information, a deep unbearable grief over a public figure, and the apathy of my friends when what I needed was sympathy or empathy was truly bizarre and left a really nasty taste in my mouth.

Western Spaghetti

A truly incredible stop-motion short from The Twisted Films of PES.



Many more here. My favorite is Pee-Nut.

One Badass Bunny

Snow Jobs

Check out these beautifully creepy snow globes. Absolutely gorgeous.

The Ghostly Gaze

A creepy optical illusion. The explanation of what's happening is fascinating.

A Different Spin

I can't wait to try this.

Fax Us Your E-Mail Address Now!

The Complete Gabe and Max's Internet Thing. ORDER NOW!

Ham-ster

It's Not 1692, It's 2008

Group wants Wi-Fi banned from public buildings
A group in Santa Fe says the city is discriminating against them because they say that they're allergic to the wireless Internet signal. And now they want Wi-Fi banned from public buildings.

Arthur Firstenberg says he is highly sensitive to certain types of electric fields, including wireless Internet and cell phones.

"I get chest pain and it doesn't go away right away," he said.

Firstenberg and dozens of other electro-sensitive people in Santa Fe claim that putting up Wi-Fi in public places is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city attorney is now checking to see if putting up Wi-Fi could be considered discrimination. But City Councilor Ron Trujillo says the areas are already saturated with wireless Internet.

"It's not 1692, it's 2008. Santa Fe needs to embrace this technology, it's not going away," Trujillo said.

Couldn't they just wear tinfoil flak jackets?

Live Nude Bugs!

A new project from Sundance Channel and Isabella Rossellini that is somewhat educational, strangely funny and utterly…fucking bizarre. It defies description, so go check it out for yourself. 

h/t: Pete Jaeger (the laziest blogger ever:)

This Is Just Weird

From Time magazine's The Page:

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS UP
Hillary Clinton enthusiastically picked a filly named Eight Belles to win the Kentucky Derby and compared herself to the horse. Eight Belles finished second. The winner was the favorite, Big Brown. Eight Belles collapsed immediately after crossing the finish line, and was euthanized shortly thereafter. 8:10 PM

Should You Or Shouldn't You?

You'd better seek advice from the "Ask A Creepy Polygamist Mom" Magic 8-Ball.