McCain's Cosmological Breakthrough

Not content to let Michelle and Sarah have all of the fun, McCain surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer jumps on the bandwagon:



But these comments—gaffes* on the face of it—have had the unexpected benefit of pointing The Atlantic's Marc Ambinder toward a potential new scientific discovery:

McCain's Cosmological Breakthrough: Unreality Is Expanding

The McCain campaign has broken through a heretofore impenetrable barrier in quantum physics, experimentally proving the existence of unseen dimensions and, in the process, setting three of its surrogates on a pathway towards winning the 2009 Nobel Prize in the physical sciences.

Gov. Sarah Palin, campaigning, she said, in "real America," which apparently includes part of North Carolina, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, calling for a media investigation to determine whether Americans are real or not, and today, McCain all-around best surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced -- Foe-Ten-How-er, like proton power), said that parts of the state of Virginia, heretofore universally assumed to be in America, were not, in fact, in the country.

Now -- the Mainstream Media, typically clueless, has interpreted these remarks conventionally -- classically, you might say, as if we live in an Eisteinian universe with three dimensions of space and a quasi-dimension of time: either these women were summoning their inner Nixonian cultural warriors, or they were untethered from reality.

But three utterances of this nature for me lead to an entirely more edifying possibility: that Palin, Bachmann and Pfotenhauer were making a radical new claim about the fundamental forces and constants that compose the background of our universe.

…

Read the whole thing, it's hilarious.

* Update: I didn't mean gaffes, exactly, more like unintentionally poorly-coded dog-whistles.