Poo Quality Index (PQI)

What your poo says about you. (Really.) Salon.com explores the issue. It's funny. It's informative. It's funformative! Here's a preview:

The Bowel Movement
What is your poo telling you about your health? It's the burning question that has everybody's head in the toilet these days.

Indeed, what the book's coauthors, Josh Richman and Anish Sheth, M.D., say was once regarded as "malodorous waste" can now be openly regarded for what it is: a miracle of creation, a crystal ball of intestinal health, a feng shui of the derrière. "Like a snowflake, each poo has a wondrous uniqueness," they write. 

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Then there's the rarely discussed form of toilet elation, "poo-phoria."

"This poo can turn an atheist into a believer and is distinguished by the sense of euphoria and ecstasy that you feel throughout your body when this type of feces departs your system," write the coauthors. "To some, it may feel like a religious experience, to others like an orgasm, and to a lucky handful it may feel like both. This is the type of poo that makes us all look forward to spending time on the toilet."

Going to the john is no longer simply a process of elimination. No, the "unbridled elation that results from releasing the perfect poo" is now a transformative act, bringing the conscientious fiber-eating toilet sitter to a spiritual or sexual high.

You have to read the whole thing.

Bonus video: